In the previous blog I talked about how the Lord spoke to me about our altered view of reality in the church (myself included!) and how we "go through the motions" without even perceiving that we aren't in touch with reality. Directly after that experience of waking up three times, I laid back in the bed and turned on the ipod to listen to worship music while I went back to sleep. I haven't done this in a LONG time. I began to remember that the months after Scott passed away, I fell asleep EVERY night to these same songs. In my heart I began to really worship through remembering the goodness, faithfulness and tenderness of the Lord in my life. Suddenly, I was aware of the intense presence of the Lord.
I think the presence of the Holy Spirit had already been working and moving, but I just at that point became aware of it.
I had gone to IHOP Atlanta that Sunday morning. In every service, they have a time for praying for those who need healing. My hip had been achy and arthritic feeling for a few weeks. It wasn't a serious enough pain that I would go to the doctor, but had really been bothering me. During that prayer time, I raised my hand and those around me prayed for me. I didn't sense anything happen, but have been so encouraged recently to believe that something ALWAYS happens when we pray even if we can't measure it by our five senses.
That night, in the middle of the night, the Lord was manifesting His presence in such a gentle, sweet way. My hip was radiating as though it had icy-hot on it and it also felt like a low wattage current of electricity going through my leg. During this experience, there was such a peace and surge of love for the Lord. I felt overwhelmed that He would move on me in the secret moments of the night like this. After a while I wondered how long this had been going on and knew from the order of the songs on my play list that it had at least been 30 minutes. From a place of intense love and abandon for Jesus, I told Him in my heart that I would say or do anything He wants me to. It's funny to me that a real revelation of God and His love causes the heart to surrender more fully. As soon as those words came from my heart, I felt like they were a vow before the Lord.
Of course, the next day I began to think of the many prophets of the Old Testament who were told to do insane things, and who were obedient. I pray that I would be found faithful and obedient to the end. The Lord gave me a dream about 4-5 months ago and I haven't been able to shake it. I will let that be part 3 of these posts...as soon as I have time to get it out!
This song has so encouraged me recently. I love it and hope it causes the Spirit within you to make war with anything that hinders you from fully loving and surrendering to Jesus.
Click here: HE LOVED ME TO THE END
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