In the previous blog I talked about how the Lord spoke to me about our altered view of reality in the church (myself included!) and how we "go through the motions" without even perceiving that we aren't in touch with reality. Directly after that experience of waking up three times, I laid back in the bed and turned on the ipod to listen to worship music while I went back to sleep. I haven't done this in a LONG time. I began to remember that the months after Scott passed away, I fell asleep EVERY night to these same songs. In my heart I began to really worship through remembering the goodness, faithfulness and tenderness of the Lord in my life. Suddenly, I was aware of the intense presence of the Lord.
I think the presence of the Holy Spirit had already been working and moving, but I just at that point became aware of it.
I had gone to IHOP Atlanta that Sunday morning. In every service, they have a time for praying for those who need healing. My hip had been achy and arthritic feeling for a few weeks. It wasn't a serious enough pain that I would go to the doctor, but had really been bothering me. During that prayer time, I raised my hand and those around me prayed for me. I didn't sense anything happen, but have been so encouraged recently to believe that something ALWAYS happens when we pray even if we can't measure it by our five senses.
That night, in the middle of the night, the Lord was manifesting His presence in such a gentle, sweet way. My hip was radiating as though it had icy-hot on it and it also felt like a low wattage current of electricity going through my leg. During this experience, there was such a peace and surge of love for the Lord. I felt overwhelmed that He would move on me in the secret moments of the night like this. After a while I wondered how long this had been going on and knew from the order of the songs on my play list that it had at least been 30 minutes. From a place of intense love and abandon for Jesus, I told Him in my heart that I would say or do anything He wants me to. It's funny to me that a real revelation of God and His love causes the heart to surrender more fully. As soon as those words came from my heart, I felt like they were a vow before the Lord.
Of course, the next day I began to think of the many prophets of the Old Testament who were told to do insane things, and who were obedient. I pray that I would be found faithful and obedient to the end. The Lord gave me a dream about 4-5 months ago and I haven't been able to shake it. I will let that be part 3 of these posts...as soon as I have time to get it out!
This song has so encouraged me recently. I love it and hope it causes the Spirit within you to make war with anything that hinders you from fully loving and surrendering to Jesus.
Click here: HE LOVED ME TO THE END
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
How long have we been asleep?
I had an interesting experience Sunday night. It will likely take a few posts to share all of what happened but for now, I will share just part of it.
Sunday night I woke up in the middle of the night and really needed to use the restroom. I sat up in the bed, but was having trouble getting my eyes to actually open. I rubbed them a few times and realized how groggy I really was and how my vision was even not cooperating. I actually physically pryed one eye open trying to get myself to wake up more.
Then, I opened my eyes to find that I was still laying down had JUST now actually woken up. I lay there for a minute realizing that the whole first "waking up" was a dream and hadn't really happened. I lay there trying to will myself into action...because I really did have to go to the bathroom. I sat up and tried willing myself to get out of the bed. Unbelievably, I opened my eyes AGAIN to find that I was REALLY just NOW waking up. I had twice now believed myself to be awake and was in fact NOT awake.
I clearly heard the Lord say that this was a picture of His bride, the Church. Too often we are found going through the motions of religious duty that we are completely unaware of the fact that we are sleep walking. We've become so used to fulfilling our religious duty and in essence putting the smiley face sticker next to the task so we can feel good about our standing before God.
Sunday morning service... Check
15 minute devotional time... Check
Throw in some giving and patting ourselves on the back for not being as bad as someone else and we have fully found ourselves in the role of a Pharisee.
I knew immediately that this experience was the Lord speaking this to me because just a few weeks ago the same thing happened. I fully believed I was awake and woke to find I hadn't been awake at all. The next day I shared it with someone and as I heard the story come out of my mouth I asked the Lord if there was significance and almost immediately I felt like He was saying that was the experience of much of His bride.
In the beginning of Revelations 3: 1-3 A word is given to the church at Sardis: "I know your deeds; you have a reputation of being alive, but you are dead. Wake up! Strengthen what remains and is about to die, for I have not found your deeds complete in the sight of my God. Remember, therefore, what you have received and heard; obey it, and repent. But if you do not wake up, I will come like a thief, and you will not know at what time I will come to you."
I got to share part of my heart and journey with some college girls this past weekend. The best part was getting in the Word and remembering the things the Lord has done in me. I shared with them that I have come to realize that the majority of my walk with the Lord has been sleep walking. Once the Holy Spirit illuminated the Word in my heart and I began to understand Mark 12:30; that the greatest commandment is to Love the Lord your God with all of your heart, mind, soul and strength... the second is loving others and the ministry that brings. We have a difficulty staying before Him long enough to become a lover...which is what He longs for. One of my favorite pastors, Mike Bickle, often says a lover will always out work a worker.
Romans 13:11 "Do this, knowing the time, that it is already the hour for you to awaken from sleep; for now salvation is nearer to us than when we first believed.
1 Peter 4:7 The end of all things is near; therefore be clear minded and self controlled so that you can pray.
Father, I pray that you'd give me a spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of God. Let the eyes of my heart be enlightened. Remove the veil. Wake me up where I slumber and don't even know it. Let me see how you see. Keep my heart in love with You Lord.
Sunday night I woke up in the middle of the night and really needed to use the restroom. I sat up in the bed, but was having trouble getting my eyes to actually open. I rubbed them a few times and realized how groggy I really was and how my vision was even not cooperating. I actually physically pryed one eye open trying to get myself to wake up more.
Then, I opened my eyes to find that I was still laying down had JUST now actually woken up. I lay there for a minute realizing that the whole first "waking up" was a dream and hadn't really happened. I lay there trying to will myself into action...because I really did have to go to the bathroom. I sat up and tried willing myself to get out of the bed. Unbelievably, I opened my eyes AGAIN to find that I was REALLY just NOW waking up. I had twice now believed myself to be awake and was in fact NOT awake.
I clearly heard the Lord say that this was a picture of His bride, the Church. Too often we are found going through the motions of religious duty that we are completely unaware of the fact that we are sleep walking. We've become so used to fulfilling our religious duty and in essence putting the smiley face sticker next to the task so we can feel good about our standing before God.
Sunday morning service... Check
15 minute devotional time... Check
Throw in some giving and patting ourselves on the back for not being as bad as someone else and we have fully found ourselves in the role of a Pharisee.
I knew immediately that this experience was the Lord speaking this to me because just a few weeks ago the same thing happened. I fully believed I was awake and woke to find I hadn't been awake at all. The next day I shared it with someone and as I heard the story come out of my mouth I asked the Lord if there was significance and almost immediately I felt like He was saying that was the experience of much of His bride.
In the beginning of Revelations 3: 1-3 A word is given to the church at Sardis: "I know your deeds; you have a reputation of being alive, but you are dead. Wake up! Strengthen what remains and is about to die, for I have not found your deeds complete in the sight of my God. Remember, therefore, what you have received and heard; obey it, and repent. But if you do not wake up, I will come like a thief, and you will not know at what time I will come to you."
I got to share part of my heart and journey with some college girls this past weekend. The best part was getting in the Word and remembering the things the Lord has done in me. I shared with them that I have come to realize that the majority of my walk with the Lord has been sleep walking. Once the Holy Spirit illuminated the Word in my heart and I began to understand Mark 12:30; that the greatest commandment is to Love the Lord your God with all of your heart, mind, soul and strength... the second is loving others and the ministry that brings. We have a difficulty staying before Him long enough to become a lover...which is what He longs for. One of my favorite pastors, Mike Bickle, often says a lover will always out work a worker.
Romans 13:11 "Do this, knowing the time, that it is already the hour for you to awaken from sleep; for now salvation is nearer to us than when we first believed.
1 Peter 4:7 The end of all things is near; therefore be clear minded and self controlled so that you can pray.
Father, I pray that you'd give me a spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of God. Let the eyes of my heart be enlightened. Remove the veil. Wake me up where I slumber and don't even know it. Let me see how you see. Keep my heart in love with You Lord.
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