Saturday, August 7, 2010


I have been so busy lately.  Overwhelmingly so actually.  Between just trying to keep up with a two and three year old, the house of prayer, and my on-going house project...I am often overwhelmed. 

On the "busy" 2 and 3 year olds.  They are so great.  So challenging much of the time, but such a joy also.  I taught Simeon how to say I love you in Spanish tonight.  Last Sunday morning, he woke up first and those first few minutes are the BEST snuggle times.  I sat with him and after about 5 minutes he looked at my dress and said, "ohhh, flowers.  Mama pretty".  Isn't that the sweetest thing?!?  Just a couple of days later though he wouldn't let me kiss him; I got him anyway and he said yucky as he wiped the infected go figure.  Eliya is really thinking a lot these days.  She is remembering everything and piecing things together I wouldn't expect her to.  I continue to ask God for wisdom in how to lead these little ones to Him and through this life. 

At the house of prayer we had a 6 week internship that ended the beginning of July.  It was filled with prayer room hours, meeting weekly at the Toccoa Falls College Campus to ask God to move there this coming year,  learning and practicing meditating on the Word and listening for God's voice and teachings on topics like intimacy with God, Israel and Eschatology.  It was a great time and really built us up as a prayer community.  I also got some help with leading our main Tuesday night worship and intercession time these past several weeks from a friend, Anna Kate, home from college for the summer.  It was a blessing in many ways to have help with this aspect of the house of prayer! 

My on-going house project is...well...going on!  It's been a big encouragement to see how God has seen and heard my requests.  We moved out of our house early January and minor remodels became major and we've been displaced since then.  My in-laws graciously let us take over their house for the past few months.  After money ran out and before the project was near complete, I struggled with the fact that I was not seeing many of the things I know to be true of God.  The Word says He's a Husband, and a Father, and a Provider...but I had a house that for almost 8 months I haven't been able to settle in with my kids.  Knowing that God's word is true, I assumed that I wasn't doing something right.  Maybe not asking in the right way or praying with enough faith.  Maybe there was some lesson I hadn't gotten just right to "release the blessing or response" as you hear some preachers teach.  I was so frustrated.  At one of the many breakdowns along this journey, I cried out to God and heard Him say Job.  I'm far too optimistic to really care for Job's story in the Bible, but I skimmed all the headings and saw that what his three friends were saying was much like the accusation I had against myself.  They basically said the principle exists that God blesses the righteous and curses the wicked.  What was TRUE in this story was that these men spoke for God but didn't know His ways, mind or heart.  Through reading this story, I felt like God was saying (something I've heard before) that He wasn't ignoring my prayer, but answering another one at the same time.  I've asked and have been asking to be purified.  I want to be holy.  I want to KNOW God.  With circumstances like these, the enemy of our soul wants to lie to us about who God is and who we are before Him...and God wants to allow us to get a little more to the end of ourselves so His life can be raised up in us.  I believe that God said to me "If I had asked you to go through this season and come out of it just a little closer, would you have said YES?"  and with that perspective, I would absolutely have said yes.  So I realize that I haven't even come close to walking it out well.  I've been frustrated, short with my family, lacking in trust, hopeless, helpless, and felt completely out of control A LOT of the past 8 months.  In spite of all of that, God sent some amazing people from my church and some family have stepped in and come alongside of me in an overwhelming and humbling way and my house is nearly done.  We will be living there by next weekend.  God is so good.  No His ways are not my ways and His timing is DEFINITELY not mine; but He's so good and I pray I have grace to lean in harder and earlier the next trial  opportunity that comes my way. 

There are so many things going on in my heart and mind these days; hopefully I will be able to slow down soon and blog a little more!  Thank you for the many of you who have lifted us up before God.  Please continue to pray for wisdom for me in parenting and leading the two amazing kids, protection and provision for our family, and that we'd live with a kingdom/eternal perspective.

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