I want to highlight some of the immediate things that come to mind.
Calling. I know to some degree I am called to cross cultural service. I used to think that meant full time overseas, but now I am learning to live in today and not be preoccupied about the future. If God brings that to pass one day, I would be thrilled. Today's obedience is living in TODAY for me, but it is wonderful for me to get to participate in any cross cultural ministry!
Community. Many mother's of little ones know it is so difficult to plan anything around nap times and meals etc. Since Scott passed away, the lack of community has been very evident. It was a huge blessing to be a part of that group of 29 for almost 2 weeks. I know I need to make a bigger effort to connect "in person" with friends in my community. The people I met on the Costa Rica team hold a special place in my heart. I have not laughed so hard or often in a LONG time.
Clarity. God has been teaching me about what love looks like for a few weeks. I asked the Holy Spirit to reveal my heart to me (surely, only in Small measure) and He did. On the 4th of July I realized how much judgement and pride were in me and how opposing to LOVE those are. The lyrics of a song popped in my head as I passed a homeless guy who looked fairly mentally disturbed. "All of the others on the road passed me by but not You". I got to see this same homeless guy 3 times and pray over him and pour the truth of God's love for him into him. I wonder how many people stop for him. I seriously fall more in love with Jesus when He gives me a little glimpse of how beautiful he is in moments like these. I KNEW and FELT God's love for this man and love that God was showing me this lesson before this trip. For years, I have told the Lord, send me where ever and to whom ever, I'll go. The lesson for me is if I can't love those in my own community with His love, I won't do it any better in another country! I thank God for giving me a little more of His vision of love.
inCarcerated. I wasn't aiming to go with all c's but since it's happened this far, why stop. Well, I didn't get incarcerated, but after several of us went to the police station/jail across the street from the church 5 times or so with the repeated brush-off "come back tomorrow", God finally made a way for us to go in! We weren't sure if we'd be talking to prisoners or police officers before we went. We had a guy from Mexico that was there with another team go in with us. The opportunity was so unique and unbelievable that it was evident that God had given us the persistent desire to get in there. 18 officers stood at attention while we sang (slaughtered) Open the Eyes of My Heart in Spanish. Then a little sharing (we were given 15 minutes to be finished) four of the men said they knew they needed Jesus and we got to lay hands on each of the 18 men and pray for their protection and over their families... while they were all still at attention! What a great last night for us!
Communication and Culture. The last couple of times I have been out of the country, it has been to Spanish speaking cultures. Since my last visit to Panama, I have been around Spanish a lot from when I was teaching ESL to mostly Spanish speakers. It was fun to get to use it and enjoy the people of Costa Rica. They are among the most open and hospitable people I have ever met. I love them and hope to return soon!!
Comforter. I absolutely love it when God speaks in real, physical and tangible ways with me. I got to hold a sweet 3 month old baby while she slept during VBS one day. I carried her around and was struck by the fact that she completely trusted that she was safe and secure. It didn't matter where I went, her position didn't change. I want to trust and rest like that with the Father. What a beautiful picture. Toward the end of the trip I was spending some time with the Lord when Psalm 116 popped into my head. Not the actual psalm... just that "psalm 116". So I went to it and spent some time there. Later that night I was hit with those fun, unexpected emotions that I never seem to know exactly where they come from. I used to have such emotional control! For some reason I always feel if I could sort out exactly where it is coming from, it might make a difference. Today is 8 months since Scott passed away. Friday is our 5 year anniversary. I was living in and enjoying community and I knew it was coming to an end. I fear the mundane of life, and simultaneously know THAT's where He usually shows me Himself the greatest. In the lows and pain. Who knows exactly which of these was the catalyst for what happened! So, this huge emotional outburst happened while one of the sweet unsuspecting ladies from the local church asked me details about Scott; our life and his death. The next morning I knew the lid was off and my control was limited but again the Lord said "psalm 116". You should definitely read it, but a few things that really spoke loudly to me. I love the Lord because He hears my voice, I will call upon Him as long as I live. I was brought low, and He saved me. Return to your rest, O my soul, for the Lord has dealt bountifully with you. You have rescued my soul from death, my eyes from tears and my feet from stumbling. I shall walk before the Lord in the land of the living! I love that God gave me that chapter before I even needed it. Psalm 139:5 "You have enclosed me behind and before, and laid Your hand upon me".
While the greatest focus of the trip was to be a blessing to this church by doing physical tasks on the property (laying cement, painting, etc) God really did more than I could have hoped or expected.
I am really tired and hope that I can fall asleep now that I have processed things a little more. I literally laugh out loud as I think about some of the hilarious things that happened. I know some of those memories will see me through tough times in the future. This last part won't make sense to most of you, but I want to be able to remember some of these things! Sorry Austin and Devin!! Murky water and marco polo make me nervous. I'm pretty sure I said, "Kayla, did you show him your 'moves'?!" I know more about Mike Grove than I ever thought I would!!! I can't believe Ashley!! 84?!? Sorry but the tubing picture really is HILARIOUS! I really do know ALL of the words to Cry Me a River and I am still ready! If there are any more that I forgot... you can comment them on here :) I wasn't great about taking pictures, but here are a few of the team. Hopefully I will add more as other team peps put some up.
These are pictures that teammates took.
others pic from cr |
Thanks for sharing that with us Jennifer. I'm so glad you had a good time!! I know trips such as this refresh your heart and keep your desires alive! God Bless!
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