I had the crazy idea to try and become a runner. I heard about Jeff Galloway’s method of taking walk breaks at intervals so I thought I would try it. I have been running for maybe 6 weeks now. Yesterday I went out with the idea that I would stretch myself to 8 miles. Up to now, 5 has been the longest distance I have gone. Of course, by mile 3 I was thinking… if I just do 6 miles that would still be great. I had that back and forth conversation, lap after lap, trying to decide if I could make it. I started thinking about the comparisons spiritually. I listen to music while I run and there has been some real intense worship at the park. If I weren’t concentrating on breathing and pace so much, I’d surely have my hands raised half of the time. I was thinking about how discipline, diligence and breakthrough are in play for both the physical and the spiritual. I want a runner’s body on an ice cream diet. Similarly, I want the spiritual rewards of intimacy, but often begin to back away at mile 2 or 3.
I know God is inviting me into a lifestyle of worship and intercession. He confirmed the call to the “Anna” lifestyle 3 times in the past week. Ironically, Anna was widowed around the age 24 and spent 60+ years in the temple serving night and day with fastings and prayers, speaking of Him to all those who were looking for redemption. (Luke 2:36-38) Her faithfulness was credited to her in a big way! With her own eyes she got to see the Messiah! I have prayed dangerously in the spirit and told the Lord, ‘keep me low as long as You need to make me into who it is You want me to be. Let there continually be less of me and more of You’. I keep asking for the refining and pruning to be in play over my life, but so wish it could be an out of body experience. I am in a place of realizing how little I know Him and even more, how much less I am like Him. He is drawing me in with the promise of intimacy and deeper revelation into His heart… but at a cost. I let go of the job that I loved teaching ESL, to be in the place of prayer. It is difficult to have a lot of social interactions because of kid’s schedules and living in the backwoods. Many of the things I have found fulfilling in the past (job, relationships, etc) are no longer present and I am face to face with the reality that my identity is ONLY in Him. The Word says that He is enough and that He alone satisfies. My emotions are unreliable, but He is faithful and true… He will prove these truths as I stay at His feet. To that I say bring on some large dose refining. I want to be where You want me to be when You want me to be there. Your ways are higher than mine (Isa 55:9)!
I made it to the 8 mile goal, so encouraged in my spirit to press in to deeper places and not stop at the fatigue and discouragement that comes spiritually in the early miles.
1 Corinthians 9:24-27
24Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. 25Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. 26Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. 27No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.
I have been listening to this song so much in the past week and it continues to increase my desire for Jesus!
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